“I'm better at my job when I'm honest about myself”

"For a pleaser like me who prefers when others like me, it's incredibly stressful that I might be exposing myself, of my own free will, to that kind of moral condemnation," says Sune Malthe-Thagaard. He refers to a survey from last summer that showed that more than one in five Danes between the age of 15 and 89 believe that sex between two people of the same sex is morally unacceptable. 

"Homeowners are not fully representative of the Danish population, so maybe not one in five thinks like this in that segment, but there'll always be someone thinking that I should pipe down and keep it to myself," he says.

From deciding it to acting natural about it

Today, Sune Malthe-Thagaard has another boyfriend – they were actually married recently. And he has decided to drop the gender-neutral terms. 

"I'm better at my job when I'm honest about myself," he says, explaining that when he's on stage explaining how to best finance your home purchase, he performs better when he remains focused on the subject.

“If I start thinking about whether to refer to my husband as 'my better half', I spend a lot of energy on it and don't really relax. But when I'm honest about myself, for better or for worse, I'm more relaxed and alive on stage,” he explains.

But despite the active decision, it has taken him a long time to feeling completely natural about it.

"It's only within this past year that I've said 'he' spontaneously without hesitating and assessing the risk in my head," says Sune Malthe-Thagaard. 

Homosexuality came as a surprise 

It's not the first time that the newsletter 'Finans' has met Sune Malthe-Thagaard. Four years ago we met for a talk about replacing the white shirt and short hairstyle with more colourful clothes and long hair.

Because with his long hair hanging loosely over his shoulders and his long earrings sparkling in the sun on one of Nykredit's many terraces in Nordhavn, Sune Malthe-Thagaard is not the prototype of a financial sector employee.

Now he has agreed to talk about his considerations regarding not hiding his homosexuality at work and in his job as a chief analyst.

Because his approach is different today than at the outset of his career. In reality, however, it has nothing to do with the financial sector or the companies he has worked for over the years. It's something inside Sune Malthe-Thagaard, he explains.

As a child in central Zealand in the 90s, it wasn't easy to be different from the majority.

“I grew up with the feeling that being gay was not unproblematic,” he says, describing an experience in year 8 when another boy believed Sune Malthe-Thagaard to be “gay.” 

“At some point I managed to convince him that I wasn't. And then he says that he does in fact see that I'm a nice guy.” 

This laid the foundation for protecting himself, and he took it with him and used it at the beginning of his career. 

“When I was younger, I took it as a positive thing that people were often surprised that I was gay. I really liked that people couldn't tell by looking at me, and that I could control when they were to find out," explains Sune Malthe-Thagaard. 

Told his superior indirectly 

As a student assistant at the Danish Ministry of Finance, he was afraid that it would affect other people's view of him and his professionalism. Therefore, he didn't tell any one about it until his very last day of work.

“I decided that no way am I leaving this place without them knowing,” he says.

And he could feel that his announcement created friction in his otherwise good relationship with a principal. 

“It's not a problem until it suddenly becomes one for someone else,” he says.

As a newly qualified economist, he was first employed at Nationalbanken, the central bank of Denmark, and there he made a virtue of saying "him" about his partner at the lunch table on one of his very first days at work. 

“I'd decided that I would not keep it a secret from my colleagues. "Funnily enough, I rarely told my superiors directly, but they might have heard it through the grapevine," he says, adding that since his time at the Ministry of Finance, he has never experienced any reactions, frowns or condemnation from his colleagues in any way.

“In fact, being gay has been a story of success for a long time in relation to my colleagues. But my nervousness comes from somewhere, and it's probably about personal experiences as well as my background, in addition to the surveys like this one showing that many people find it morally wrong. "Which means it doesn't come from nothing," he says, underlining that he doesn't want pity. His family has given him nothing but love and support and understanding after he came out as a homosexual.

The Stig Elling syndrome 

Sune Malthe-Thagaard actually doesn't like to talk about himself. And although he is used to journalists calling and enquiring him about interest rate fluctuations or asking for an explanation of the different types of mortgages, it makes him extra nervous when he is the topic of the conversation.

However, one experience on a train has left its mark on Sune Malthe-Thagaard and partly influenced the decision to open up. 

At the age of 19, he is on a train, flipping through an 'Ud & Se' magazine. He comes across an interview with Stig Elling, the king of travel. He has no recollections of the exact topic of the interview. But to this very day, he still remembers one small detail. As a casual remark, Stig Elling mentions his male partner. And to the young Sune Malthe-Thagaard, who at that time thought he might be bisexual, it was a huge eye-opener.

“This Danish business man was gladly sharing that he was homosexual. Until then, I had only heard hairdressers, actors and politicians talk openly about it,” he says. 

As a young man dreaming of a business career of his own, he suddenly found someone he could take example from. And that has meant a lot to him. Essentially, it has also been a contributing factor in him agreeing to the interview 21 years later. Because in a way, he feels obliged to pass on the message, even though he's not fond of calling himself a role model.  

“It would be much easier not to do it. But my inner activist, who doesn't come out that often, is thinking that if no one acts, things will never change. "You could call it the Stig Elling syndrome," he says with a laugh.  

When the burden is off your shoulders 

But what would Sune Malthe-Thagaard say to others who may not have found the courage to show that side of themselves at work? 

"If I were to give my younger self any advice, I would say: talk to someone about it. It could be a colleague you trust or an LGBT network at your workplace," he suggests. 

Workplaces may also take action because it means a lot if, for example, staff policies state that there is room for everyone, he believes. 

In addition, it means a lot to Sune Malthe-Thagaard that both his former workplace, Danmarks Nationalbank, and his current workplace, Nykredit, are celebrating the Pride parade, which will be held in Copenhagen in August. It makes a difference when workplaces in this way take a position actively, he believes. 

“They are signalling that it's okay to be you. And that also means that if someone makes it a problem that I'm on stage doing my job, it's not a problem for me, but for my workplace," states the chief analyst.